How to Teach Interpersonal Skills to Avoid Conflict in Schools

Conflicts are a normal part of any institution, especially in schools where children have different interests, value systems, and perceptions. Therefore, avoidance or management of conflicts are essential in running successful institutions.

Fact: Teaching students interpersonal skills is the key to both the avoidance and amicable resolution of conflict in schools.

Some of the interpersonal skills that are instrumental in avoiding conflict in schools include:

• Attentive listening
• Effective verbal and non-verbal communication
• Empathy
• Patience
• Responsibility
• Negotiation skills
• Problem-solving skills

When children develop healthy interpersonal skills, they’re able to learn, perform, and express themselves better, and develop their personalities. They will also avoid confrontations with their peers and adults that may otherwise necessitate disciplinary action.

Furthermore, fostering students’ interpersonal skills sets them up for productive interactions as well as successful personal and professional relationships.

Since there are so many benefits, educators must look into different ways to develop and improve students’ interpersonal skills to help avoid conflict in schools.

Below, we recommend the steps to teaching interpersonal skills with the goal of avoiding conflict in schools.

Step 1 - Help Kids Develop Communication Life Skills

The ability to listen and respond effectively is among the most critical life skills for children. It’s key for helping kids to avoid conflict and enables them to build healthier relationships.

The five types of communication life skills worth teaching children to help them avoid conflict are:

• Written communication
• Oral communication
• Visual or non-verbal communication
• Active listening
• Contextual communication

Active listening, for instance, allows children to understand other people’s points of view and come up with appropriate responses.

If a child is an intent listener, they’ll be able to have productive conversations, which involve catching verbal cues, interpreting non-verbal cues, and determining when it’s their turn to jump into a conversation.

Meanwhile, contextual communication enables children to relay their messages effectively in different environments. These environments can include presenting in front of the class, speaking face-to-face with peers, or facilitating group discussions. It also helps them learn how to handle crisis communication and develop online communication skills.

Communication life skills also equip children with the ability to show empathy, tolerance, and open-mindedness. It helps them avoid misinterpreting others' messages, miscommunicating their own, and overreacting in response.

The table below discusses some effective methods of teaching different communication life skills.

• Teaching Methods

• Role-playing

• Description

• Consciously acting out different roles where students practice the communication skills they’re being taught

• Interpersonal Skills That Can Be Taught

• Patience

• Open-mindedness

• Body language and posture

• Confidence

• Active listening

• Teaching Methods

• Introspection

• Description

• Set aside time when students can reflect on the communication skills that have helped with conflict resolution in the pas

• Interpersonal Skills That Can Be Taught

• Consciousness

• Self-examination

• Self-awareness

• Empathy

• Teaching Methods

• Turn-taking

• Description

• Teach students how to overlap a conversation cooperatively, or rather, to interject instead of overlapping conversations

• Interpersonal Skills That Can Be Taught

• Effective negotiation

• Conflict resolution

• Rhythmic communication

• Contextual communication

• Teaching Methods

• Films

• Description

• Use a carefully compiled collection of video clips to display and teach various interpersonal skills

• Interpersonal Skills That Can Be Taught

• Non-verbal cues

• Problem-solving

• How to ensure clear and concise communication

Step 2 - Help Students Develop Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to navigate yours and other people’s emotions, while showing empathy and communicating your feelings effectively.

As such, emotional intelligence is a crucial factor for effective crisis management that helps students handle any crisis or confrontation with less reactivity, lower stress levels, and fewer unintended consequences.

Research shows that emotional intelligence is as important as IQ (intelligence quotient) in helping children achieve success and live happy and fulfilled lives.

An emotionally intelligent child is able to:

• Stand up for themselves
• Control their temper, anger, and excitement
• Be assertive and avoid irrational responses
• Deal with uncomfortable emotions
• Handle conflict without being aggressive or violent
• Respect other people’s opinions

You can teach emotional intelligence to children by:

• Acknowledging their feelings
• Asking them to identify and describe their emotions and triggers
• Encouraging them to develop strategies to cope with every emotion
• Engaging them in problem-solving activities, like setting class rules
• Teaching other life skills like patience and teamwork

Expert Tip: Being a good role model by developing a healthy level of emotional intelligence is the best way to teach this life skill to students. For instance, be keen on how you respond to stressful situations in and away from class.

Step 3 - Promote Effective Decision-Making

Most children find themselves in conflicts or fights because they’re ill-equipped to handle decision-making. Without effective decision-making skills, children are more likely to succumb to peer pressure and make reckless decisions.

Responsible decision-making starts with teaching critical thinking, which enables students to reason and think independently to make logical judgments.

Good decision-making skills help children decide on the best course of action that doesn’t lead to conflict and promotes their social and physical well-being. As they learn and continually make good decisions they become confident, independent, and responsible.

As an educator, you can help children develop decision-making skills by:

• Allowing them to make small and significant decisions from a young age

• Giving them choices based on real-world problems and allowing them to decide the best approach

• Employing inquiry-based learning where you ask provocative open-ended questions

• Encouraging group discussions and projects that consider different opinions before making conclusive decisions

• Encouraging constructive controversy where the children brainstorm solutions to varying problems

Step 4 - Implement a Behavioral Management Plan

A behavioral management plan is a set of procedures that aim to prevent behavioral problems. It differs from a disciplinary plan, which aims to find responses to conflict. This plan is aimed at completely avoiding conflict.

A behavioral management plan will help students take on several interpersonal skills necessary to avoid conflict by:

• Promoting responsibility
• Developing predictable behavior
• Providing behavior accommodations for kids with behavior problems
• Improving teacher-student relationships
• Setting clear procedures or rules that define acceptable and unacceptable behavior

The process of developing a behavior management plan is also a perfect opportunity to teach effective decision-making. For example, let the students suggest the rules they think are necessary, then sort through these suggestions to come up with a few that you’ll all work towards implementing.

An effective behavioral management plan follows a rules-and-consequences system where students understand what they’re expected to do and the consequences of their behaviors.

The consequences in this context can be either positive or negative. For instance, when a student who’s constantly involved in fights goes for some time without being caught in confrontations, praise them and give out age-appropriate rewards. This encourages them and the other students to be better.

Step 5 - Introduce Your Students to Social-Emotional Learning (SEL)

Social-emotional learning is at the core of Positive Action’s curriculum and educational programs. It equips students with tools to understand and manage their emotions, which are key drivers of conflicts in schools.

The SEL philosophy teaches children emotional skills, such as empathy, to help them feel good about their emotions and actions. It helps them to understand how their thoughts evoke feelings and how those feelings translate into actions.

Through social and emotional learning, students can resolve issues calmly and establish healthy and rewarding relationships both in school and out.

The easy-to-implement curriculum generally teaches interpersonal skills that help students make sound decisions, even in uncomfortable situations. For instance, positive social-emotional development encourages a child to be more thoughtful and maintain healthy boundaries in challenging situations.

The curriculum also:

• Establishes ground rules and channels for clear communication
• Reduces violence and bullying
• Curbs disciplinary action by up to 85%
• Improves student’s mental health
• Creates a conducive learning environment

So, why should you implement the curriculum? Because it’s built on decades of history and research and fits into any existing educational program.

Many schools have already implemented the SEL program and couldn't be happier with the success they’ve found.

Dr. Michael Perry, principal at Critzer Elementary in Pulaski, Virginia, credits the Positive Action curriculum with helping him “build a community of lifelong learners who care about themselves and others.”

The curriculum has, among other things, helped the school reduce disciplinary incidents and suspensions by up to 50%, improve academic performance, and create a healthy and safe environment where students can learn and thrive.